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FW: review of draft-ietf-radext-status-server-06.txt
From: Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr [mailto:Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr]
Sent: Thursday, April 01, 2010 7:48 AM
Subject: review of draft-ietf-radext-status-server-06.txt
I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2010-03-28
IETF LC End Date: 2010-03-29
IESG Telechat date: unknown
Summary: Ready with nits
Major issues: none
Minor issues: none
- Abstract page 2: there is an explicit reference to a RFC, this is in
general forbidden but IMHO we are here in the allowed exception case.
- 2.1.1 page 8: a servers policy -> a server policy
- 3 page 10 (twice): etc. -> etc., ???
- 4.2 page 13: adminstrators -> administrators
- 4.2 page 15 (twice): e.g. -> e.g.,
- 4.3 page 16: modelled -> modeled
- 4.3 page 16: usually the hysteresis against flapping tries to keep
the connection (i.e., failover after 3 missed responses), here it is
the opposite. IMHO it is very aggressive but it is how RFC 3539 works
so I have no concern about it.
- 4.5 page 16: Proxyhas -> Proxy has
- 4.5 page 17: cannot, -> cannot
- 4.5 page 18: i.e. -> i.e.,
- 5 page 19: EAP-MEssage -> EAP-Message
- 8 page 23: synthesise -> synthesize
- 8 page 23: in "the suggestion of [RFC5080] Section 2.2.2, which suggests"
suggests -> proposes
- 8 page 23: configurably is not in my dict?
- 9.2 page 23: IMHO the RFC2119 reference should be moved to normative
references section (perhaps others too?)
- Authors' Addresses -> Author's Address
PS: I apologize for the delay. BTW I've seen a wording comment and proposal
from Bernard Aboba, I support it.
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