Issue 129: Editorial nits

[Bernard Aboba <aboba@internaut.com>]

Issue 129:  Editorial NITs
Submitter name: Paul Congdon
Submitter email address: paul.congdon@hp.com Date first submitted:
08-10-2005
Reference: 
Document: IEEE 802 Extensions
Comment type: E
Priority: 1
Section: various
Rationale/Explanation of issue:

1. Pg 3, end of second paragraph. Seems like a reference to RFC3580
would be appropriate

2. Pg 3, middle of sixth paragraph. We aren't providing the 'full set'
of VLAN functionality either.  Suggest replacing "...the full set of
VLAN functionality" with "...a more complete set of VLAN functionality
as defined by IEEE 802.1Q-2003"
 
3. Pg 3, end of sixth paragraph.  Reference to IEEE-802.1Q should
probably be the Bridge-MIB or RFC 2674

4. Pg 4. The following terms aren't really used and should be removed;
Access Point (AP), Association, Port Access Entity (PAE), Stations
(STA).

5. Pg 10, 3.4 User-Priority-Table. The reference to 802.1D should
probably be 802.1D-2004.

6. Pg 10, 3.4 User-Priority-Table, 1st paragraph of String. There are 8
regenerated priorities, not 7.

7. Pg 12, First item 2). The way this item is worded it makes it sound
like you must have a flush rule present and as the first item.  Suggest
rewording as follows: Base encapsulation filter rules MUST appear after
a flush rule (if present) and before IP tunnel,...

8. Pg 12, first paragraph after list. If you only wanted to filter
specific traffic, but allow other stuff you would want the list to end
with an 'accept all' rule.  The behavior we have defined is more of a
firewall type behavior rather than a router behavior.  We should
document a syntax for the 'accept all' rule and make a note to the
implementer of how to do this.  Suggest adding a note that describes how
to terminate the list with a rule that allows all traffic.  I believe
the rule is: permit both ip from any to any.  We may need an L2 rule as
well.

9. Pg 12, last paragraph on Filter-ID and NAS-Filter-Rule.  The
paragraph is clumsy.  Suggest replacing the start of the second sentence
with, "These attributes are not intended to be used..."

10. Pg 15, Note: at top of page. Seems like a missing word or something
in the second sentence.  Suggest, "Also, [ports] optional argument is
not valid for ..."

11. Pg 17, Editorial note in Text section.  I think you can just delete
this now.  Isn't the text about fragmenting these below?

12. Pg 23, end of page. RFC 2866 and RFC 2867 are normative, but never
referenced.  Perhaps we should be referencing them somewhere or move
them to informative references.  Also, IEEE802.11i reference should be
IEEE80211i (all one word - no dot).

13. Pg 28, Acknowledgments. Since all the wireless stuff has been
removed, we can remove Dorothy Stanley of Agere from this list of names.


Requested change:

1. Change ending of last sentence to "...based on tunnel attributes in
[RFC2868] and usage of these in [RFC3580]."

2. Replace "...the full set of VLAN functionality" with "...a more
complete set of VLAN functionality as defined by IEEE 802.1Q-2003"

3. Replace "...to the MIB variables supported in [IEEE 802.1Q]." with
"...to the management variables supported in IEEE 802.1Q-2003 and MIB
objects defined by RFC 2674.

4. Remove Access Point (AP), Association, Port Access Entity (PAE),
Stations (STA).

5. Change 802.1D to IEEE 802.1D-2004

6. Change 'seven' to 'eight' in the first sentence of the Text
description

7. Change the start of item 2) to, "Base encapsulation filter rules MUST
appear after a flush rule (if present) and before IP tunnel,..."

8. Add a note to the text that describes how to terminate the list with
a rule that accepts everything else.  Perhaps the rule is: "permit both
ip from any to any"

9. Replace the start of the second sentence with, "These attributes are
not intended to be used..."

10. Replace start of second sentence with, "Also, [ports] optional
argument is not valid for ..."

11. Remove editorial note

12. Move RFC 2866 and RFC 2867 to informative section or reference them
somewhere normatively.  Also fix the typo in the 802.11i reference.

13. Remove Dorothy Stanley of Agere from this list of names.

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