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[Issue] Editorial cmts on IEEE802-01



Description of issue: Editorial cmts on IEEE802-01
Submitter name: Greg Weber
Submitter email address: gdweber@cisco.com
Date first submitted: February 1st, 2006
Reference: NA
Document: IEEE802-01
Comment type: 'E'ditorial
Priority: '1' Should fix
Section: Various
Rationale/Explanation of issue and requested changes:


Section 1.1 "Authenticator"
  "an entity that require" -> "an entity that requires"
Section 2.2 "Description"
  "IEEE 802.1Q" -> "[IEEE8021Q]"
Section 2.3 "Description" 
  Please use either "VLAN ID" or "VLAN-ID" consistently.
Section 2.3 "String"
  Should "802.1Q-2003" be "[IEEE8021Q]" or is this a new
  reference?  The latter reference is dated January 1998 
  in Section 7.1.
Section 2.5 "Description"
  "NAS-Filter-Rule process packets" ->
  "NAS-Filter-Rule processes packets"
Section 2.5 "Description"
  There is a reference for HTTP, but not HTTPS.
Section 2.5 "Description"
  "...if multiple NAS-Filter-Rule attributes are contained 
   within an Access-Request or Access-Accept..." ->
  "...if multiple NAS-Filter-Rule attributes are contained
   within an Access-Accept or CoA-Request..."
Section 2.5 "Description"
  "flush rules" are mentioned a dozen paragraphs into 
  the section, but they're not explained until way down
  in the Text section.  Shouldn't they be added as a
  type of rule in the Table after the second paragraph?
Section 2.5 "Text" "ipv6-address"
  "match the rule" -> "match the rule."
Section 2.5 "Text" "tcp-port"
  The text says this field can be used with UDP and SCTP
  in addition to TCP, so is it supposed to be called "port"?
Section 2.5 "Text" "tcpoptions"
  Do you want Informative references for RFCs 1323 & 1644?
Section 2.5 "Text" "redir_cnt"
  "redir_cnt   Specifies" -> "redir_cnt  Specifies" 
Section 3.1 "String"
  "specify which filter rule the counter value is for." ->
  "specify for which filter rule the couter is a value."
Section 5
  "Allocation of seven updates..." ->
  "Allocation of five updates..."
Section 6
  "nabled networks" -> "enabled networks"
  "in message it sends." -> "in messages it sends."
Section A.1.2
  "(eg.  Mobile-IP)" -> "(e.g. Mobile-IP)"
Section A.1.4
  "and in both directions" ->
  "Flow in a tunnel in two directions"
Section A.1.4
  "and an NAS-Filter-Rule" -> "and a NAS-Filter-Rule"
  "packet(as" -> "packet (as"
Section A.2
  "the users browser" -> "the user's browser"
Section A.2.1
  "the RADIUS MAY" -> "the RADIUS server MAY"
Section A.2.2
  "CoA message" -> "CoA-Request message" (several occurrences)
Section A.2.3
  "The RADIUS serve can" -> "The RADIUS server can"
  "in two way." -> "in two ways."
Section A.4
  "IEEE 8021X environment" -> "IEEE 802.1X environment"
  "their hotel room" -> "her hotel room"
  "WiFi is" -> "WiFi and is"
Section B Examples #7 & #8
  Replace "foo.org" and "goo.org" with domains from RFC 2606.

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