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AD review of draft-zorn-radius-pkmv1-04.txt
I have reviewed as shepherding AD draft-zorn-radius-pkmv1-04.txt and I
believe that the document is clear and stable. As the document requires
IANA to allocate attributes from the standard RADIUS type space
according to the RFC 5226 "IETF Review" policy, an IETF Last Call is
required. Please consider the comments below together with the other
IETF Last Call comments.
1. The document makes repeated references to IEEE 802.16-2004. As this
IEEE specification is a 800+ pages document I think that readers and
users of the future RFC would appreciate if more exact references to
sections in IEEE 802/16-2004 are provided. For example in section 3.3
when referring to the IEEE 802.16 "PKM Configuration settings" attribute
the reader should be sent to section 11.9.19 of IEEE 802.16-2004, then
when talking about the "Authorize wait timeout" field section 11.9.19.1
of IEEE 802.16-2004 could be referred, etc.
2. In the introduction section please take out "(or at least access to)"
- the access to the IEEE 802 document is now free over the Internet and
in fact the references section of this document already provides an URL
for free download.
3. Section 3.4, first paragraph - s/contains only the 3 octet/contains
only the list of 3 octet/
Regards,
Dan
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