RE: WG Last Call: draft-ietf-v6ops-unman-scenarios-00.txt

["Fischer, Christine A (Chris)" <cafischer@lucent.com>]

Comments from Chris Fischer on Unmanaged Networks IPv6 Transition Scenarios
The majority of these are minor editing comments to make content clearer.

Section 3: change "status vary" to "status varies"

Section 3.1: change "sharing of file or printers" to "sharing of files or printers"

Sections 3.1 and 3.2: change "performs NAT or firewall function" to "performs NAT or a firewall function"

Section 4.1, second paragraph: change "an example of standard system" to "an example of a standard system"  (same comment page 6)

Section 4.2.1, third paragraph:  change "prevent outsiders to correlate" to "prevent outsiders from being able to correlate"
same section, fourth paragraph:  "is not a sufficient reason to enable additional tracking through IPv6 addresses"  Did you mean additional tracking here or additional privacy?

Section 4.2.1, last sentence in section:  change "unmanaged network allow" to "unmanaged networks allow"

Top of Page 10, section 5.2.1:  The text refers to the problems with DNS requests when translation is implemented.  It might help to include a reference to a draft that discusses these problems, for example, Alain Durand "Issues with NAT-PT DNS ALG in RFC2766"<draft-durand-v6ops-natpt-dns-alg-issues-00.txt>; there are others as well.

Page 10, section 5.2.2 and 5.3.2:  "natted", shouldn't acronyms be upper case?

Section 5.2.2:  change "This is as debatable" to "This is debatable"
Section 5.2.2:  change "to site local application" to "to site local applications"
Section 5.2.2:  change "the gateway need to use a mechanism obtain" to "the gateway needs to use a mechanism to obtain"

Section 5.2.3, page 11:  change "depend of the protocol" to "depend on the protocol"


-----Original Message-----
From: Margaret Wasserman [mailto:mrw@windriver.com]
Sent: Monday, February 17, 2003 11:11 AM
To: v6ops@ops.ietf.org
Subject: WG Last Call: draft-ietf-v6ops-unman-scenarios-00.txt




Hi All,

This is a WG Last Call for comments on sending the Unmanaged
Networks scenarios document to the IESG for consideration as
an Informational RFC:

Title:     Unmanaged Networks IPv6 Transition Scenarios
Filename:  draft-ietf-v6ops-unman-scenarios-00.txt
Authors:   C. Huitema, R. Austein, R. van der Pol
Date:      January 10, 2003

The document can be found at:
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-v6ops-unman-scenarios-00.txt

Abstract

    In order to evaluate the suitability of transition mechanisms, we
    need to define the scenarios in which these mechanisms have to be
    used. One specific scope is the "unmanaged networks", which
    typically correspond to home networks or small office networks.

Please review this document carefully, and send your feedback
to the list, indicating whether or not you believe that this
document is ready to go to the IESG.  Silence does NOT indicate
consent.  Unless sufficient support is demonstrated on the list,
the document will not be send to the IESG.

Thanks,
Margaret, Itojun and Bob
v6ops WG Chairs