From: Elwyn Davies <elwynd@dial.pipex.com>
Date: December 13, 2005 3:20:40 PM CEST
To: gen-art@ietf.org
Cc: Mary Barnes <mary.barnes@nortel.com>, Fred Baker
<fred@cisco.com>, Tim Chown <tjc@ecs.soton.ac.uk>, David Kessens
<david.kessens@nokia.com>
Subject: Gen-art review of draft-ietf-v6ops-vlan-usage-00.txt
I was selected as General Area Review Team reviewer for this
specification
(for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).
Document: draft-ietf-v6ops-vlan-usage-00
Intended Status: Informational
Shepherding AD: David Kessens
Proto shepherd: Fred Baker
Review Trigger: IESG Telechat, 12 December 2005
Summary:
This document is essentially ready for Informational.
There are a couple of editorial nits and I have suggested a small
number of editorial improvements below.
Editorial:
s1, para 6: s/provided a/provided by a/
s1, last para: s/sites who/sites that/
s2.2, para 1: I think that 'BSD-based' could be removed - I think
the idea was that a standard PC rather than a dedicated router
could be used but that doesn't really matter here and if not you
ought to expand the acronym BSD.
s2.2, para 1: The phrase '/64 size links' is a bit colloquial. How
about 'stub links using 64 bit subnet prefixes'
s2.3, para 2: s/while IPv6/while the IPv6/
s2.5: Might be good to remind people that the VLAN tag is 16 bits
so that this can work with a 'usual' maximum 48 bit site prefix
App A, para 1: s/for BSD/using a computer running the FreeBSD
variant of the Berkeley Software Distribution (BSD) operating
system as a router/
App A: In the configuration s/#Router advs/# Router advertisements/